I often awoke at 2 A.M. with a painful knot in my stomach that stayed there through the day and into the evening. I brought it to bed with me every night. I ate my lunch at my desk while texting on my “crackberry,” chatting on my cell phone, typing e-mails, and wolfing down a sandwich . . . all in five minutes. And I realized I had been doing that for almost 15 years.
Nonstop, overwhelming thoughts relentlessly raced through my head as I attempted to juggle so many different pieces of my life and finding unfulfillment at every turn. I craved peace of my mind. I craved a job with a purpose. I craved the depth of feeling I had known so well in my youth. I was light-years from that moment. I was sleepwalking through my life. My personal and work relationships were stressed and strained. I was waking up, burning through the day, performing my “job,” coming home, eating dinner, reading a book or watching TV, and passing out.
Are You Sleepwalking through Your Life? How to find your reason for being: a great testimony by Davidji, whose guided meditations never fail to inspire me. Any similarity with my own life is not mere coincidence: a few years ago, I also felt I was a “zombielike autopilot of an existence”, and even now, I am still learning to drive.